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Which is your favorite Monty Python Movie?
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail."
"And Now for Something Completely Different."
"Monty Python's Life of Brian."
"Monty Python's The Meaning of Life."
Which is your favorite Monty Python sketch routine?
It's Man.
Mr. Praline.
The Nude Organist.
Mr. Badger.
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How often do you play a prank on someone?
Never.
Prank? My life is a prank.
Almost daily.
A couple times a year, when I'm bored.
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If you trip and fall in a puddle, what would you do?
Cry, because I could use the puddle water as an excuse to say I am not crying.
Complain to the nearest person.
Drink as much as I can because I'm parched.
Start flicking water at people passing by,
Someone has given you lemons. What do you do?
Stop anyone from coming closer. I love and covet lemons.
Return them because they are not yellow enough.
Eat them until I realize they are not oranges.
Use them to toss at people and randomly squirt at people.
Who is your companion in a stroll through the forest?
A knight.
My dog.
Someone with a leash, because I will not go to a forest willingly.
Just me, so I can escape quickly.
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How would you stop people from walking through your front yard?
With a sword.
I would complain to them from my porch.
I would bite them with my pointy teeth.
I would hurl farm animals at them.
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Who would you be in the medieval ages?
A knight.
A candy maker.
A rabbit hunter.
A professional taunter.
If you are met by insurmountable odds, what do you do?
Face the foe head on.
Complain.
Hide in my burrow.
Tease those odds until the succumb to submission.
When you dole out orders, how do people react?
They giggle a little.
With a curious glance.
They think I am being cute.
They may or may not respond. Depends if they think I am serious.
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What are good reasons to return a pet to the pet shop?
It was not what I thought it was.
It has died.
It is too costly to feed.
My spouse was not as amused with the pet as I was.
Do you find that people understand you?
Sure, I speak the same language.
I am starting to think not.
They better...or else.
Who cares?
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Do you have multiple groups of friends?
I have no friends.
Nope, just one group.
Oh yeah, I have several groups.
Friends, no. Acquaintances, I have several.
What is a recurring theme in your life?
People trying to walk past me.
Returning items to the store.
Everyone thinks I'm cute.
People just don't get my jokes.
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People think I am sweet, but what they really don't know is...
I am not.
I am also boring.
I am vicious.
I am hilarious.
Are you protective of your friends and family?
I am protective of everyone.
Only if they are on my phone plan.
Yep!
I am not protective of anyone.
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How do people react when they first see you?
Approach carefully.
Complain.
Come running up to me with a hug.
Crack a joke.
What is your favorite kind of prank?
Pranks that make people think they are late.
Office pranks.
Food pranks.
Pranks that bring emotion.
How do you get into a competitor's head?
Intimidate them.
Constantly argue.
I act like I know something they don't.
Taunt them.
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Who finds your jokes funny?
Nobody. Including myself.
Jokes? I don't joke.
Everyone.
Most people I think. That, or they are all just so mad they smile.
How do you approach life?
I stand in the way.
By frequently reacting to people.
By watching it pass.
Through humor.
What is the best way to throw something really far?
With my powerful arm.
What? How big is it? Why would I be throwing something?
I don't really know.
With a catapult.
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