Which Biblical Figure Are You?

By: Mark Lichtenstein
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Which Biblical Figure Are You?
Image: YouTube

About This Quiz

From Abraham to Judas to Mohammad, the stories of the Abrahamic religions are full of characters as unique as they are memorable. Which biblical figure are you?
Do you want to be one of the good guys, or an ambiguous or evil figure?
Total good guy
Mysterious good guy
Ambiguous
Evil

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How memorable do you want to be?
Only to geeks
Very memorable
Only to scholars
I want to be one of the most memorable there are.

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Are you close with your family?
Very
No
I'm stuck with them all the time.
We don't have the best relationship.

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Are you a political sort of person?
I like the cut and thrust of politics.
I don't do well with politics.
Every time I stick my neck out, someone yells at me for my decisions.
No, I am not my brother's keeper.

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How nice are you?
I'm very kind.
I'm probably too kind.
I'm not kind to people who disagree with me.
I can get really angry sometimes.

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What would you like to have named after you?
Some kind of candy maybe?
Hospitals
A jeweler
Sugar

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Which religious feast do you want to be a part of?
A really fun baccanal
My nativity
Passover
One named for me wouldn't end well.

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How credible are you?
Very
I'm quite incredible.
I don't know if I existed.
I'm probably just a parable.

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Are you a bad boy or girl?
When I need to be.
Absolutely not
It seems that I am.
I'm the baddest. I'm bad to the bone.

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Do you like a little controversy?
Not about my character
Only if I win
No, but if I cause it, I'm okay with that.
Since I've been strung up for things I don't think I should have gotten in trouble for, I'd like a little controversy on the subject.

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Do you get on well with women (or if applicable, with other women)?
Yes, very well
I'm not known for it.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
I have a girlfriend.

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Do you get on with people from very different backgrounds?
Yes, I can blend into other cultures well.
No, it never ends well.
I lived as a member of a minority, but later my minority kicked me out.
No, they always seem to know who I am and think I'm a bad guy.

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How many religions do you want to remember you?
At least three
At least two
At least the Abrahamic ones
All of them

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Are you good with your hands?
Not particularly, unless it's for gambling.
I can swim!
I'm good at making things.
I'm good with tools...

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Are you good at manipulating the more powerful?
Yes, I am.
That's my greatest weakness.
No, they tend not to like me.
I tried it once, but I wasn't believed.

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How do you feel about the Persians?
They're mostly fine people.
They worship false gods.
They have some nice temples.
Who?

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What about the Romans?
They were kind of a pain to anyone who didn't do things their way.
They were a blight on the world.
They had some great statues.
They were really good at killing.

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Do you believe in God?
Not really
Of course! I have met him, and his family.
No, but I believe in Cow!
Yes, unfortunately.

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Does God help you out a lot?
No, never.
All the time. I don't know what I'd do without God.
I'm told he did once, but I don't know about that...
No, not once, not ever.

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Could you survive in the wilderness?
I'm sure I could figure it out.
Yes, I could, probably.
If I had other people with me, and food fell from the sky.
Of course I could, as I am immortal.

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Are you the first on a trend?
No, but I'm culturally literate.
I am!
No, but ideas are cheap.
No, but I seem to have started a trend.

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How heroic are you?
Very
Hero? No. Martyr? Sure.
No, not even a little.
I'm only a hero in Ann Rice novels.

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Do you mind not getting credit for your actions?
I mind a bit.
I don't mind.
I would like not to get credit, as they are a bit embarrassing.
I would love to get out from under what I've done.

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Do you care a lot what people think?
Thoughts motivate actions, so yes.
I care about what is in others' souls.
I care insofar as what people think could get me into trouble.
No, I hate other people.

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Do you get jealous easily?
No, I'm doing just fine.
No, I reject jealousy.
No, but I have abandonment issues.
Yes, yes I do.

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Do you play well with others?
Yes, I work well on a team.
Certain people, yes.
Sometimes, if we're all together on something.
No

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Have you ever really put your foot in it and then not apologized?
No, I'm too careful.
Yes, and I lost my head over it.
I did put my foot in it, but I apologized.
Yes, it's sort of my thing.

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Do you like pouring water on things, just because?
No, that's OCD.
Yes, that's my jam!
Water? Where? I'm so used to deserts, that's very triggering.
Not water, no...

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Do you render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's?
Who is Caesar?
Yes.
Don't you mean Pharaoh?
Do you mean Seth?

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Do you have a visual mind?
No, not really.
I don't see it that way.
Yes, yes I do.
No, I just deal with what is in front of me without thinking.

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You Got: