What New Age Religion Are You?

By: Marie Hullett
Estimated Completion Time
8 min
What New Age Religion Are You?
Image: Dina Belenko Photography / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Although technically called religions, many "New Age" organizations prefer to use terms like 'spiritual' or 'Mind, Body and Spirit.' While often a reaction in opposition to dominant Western Judeo-Christian values, some of these organizations, such as the Church of Satan, allow members to believe in whatever they want. Unlike other religions, that means that sure, you can follow Christianity as well as practice Satanism, no problem, without even being condemned to hell. Sure, it might sound counterintuitive. But why not try it? 

Let's face it — the world is always changing. So, perhaps it's time to identify with a New Age religion rather than a centuries-old one. For thousands of years, people were restricted to being Catholic, Muslim and the like. Now, you can proudly reveal yourself as a Scientologist or Raëlist. Isn't that more exciting? Many New Age religions heavily emphasize the self and holistic divinity, which means you're finally free to be whomever you want. So, maybe it's time to become a Wiccan or Satanist! You can always change your mind later.

Regardless which religion (if any) you practice, this quiz will reveal the true you through your New Age designation and tell you what to know about your spiritual place in the world. 

Would you consider yourself a religious person?
Not at the moment. I'm more scientifically-minded but would be open to learning about a new belief system.
I'm spiritual.
You could say that ...
Not really, but I do believe in the supernatural.

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From "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" to "Arrival, Hollywood has reimagined aliens over and over again. So, are you a believer?
Yes, in fact, they brought humans to earth billions of years ago.
I think they might exist. I don't know whether they will ever visit us, though.
Undecided. If they exist, they are probably nothing special, though.
Absolutely. They still control us to this day.
No

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What do you think: Should members of your religion be allowed to believe in other religions or partake in sacred rites outside of yours?
Sure, if that's what they want.
In general, partaking in other religious rites would probably invalidate our own. However, they won't be banished to hell or anything because of it.
This religion diametrically opposes many large, mainstream religions, so probably not.
It depends.

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Life is meant to be enjoyed. Right? Or ... what do you believe?
Life is a game in which everyone can win, and no one even has to lose it.
Humans should be free to act how they please.
Undue suffering is bad; therefore, that which reduces suffering is good.
Life should include love, which involves breaking habits to make life more exciting and enjoyable.

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Time to head to your place of worship. What type of entity would you like to bow down to?
A supreme being
Nature gods and goddesses
Satan
Extraterrestrials

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Some say Earth began with the Big Bang. What do you believe?
The Spirit created all things.
The life force that exists in all living things created the physical universe.
I also believe in the Big Bang.
A species of humanoid extraterrestrials created the Earth with science.

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Time to select a ritual object. Which one compels you the most?
Secret written teachings
A cauldron
A ram's skull
No ritual object

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Religions aren't all about salvation. You also can partake in lively celebrations. Which holiday sounds like the most fun for you?
Founder's Birthday — the celebration of the birthday of the founder.
Litha or Midsummer — the longest day of the year is celebrated as a time of abundance in nature.
Halloween — a way for one's inner self and the darkness in the world to be explored through costume.
Creation Day — this day commemorates the scientific creation of the very first human being in a laboratory by the Elohim.

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How do you like to celebrate on a joyous holiday?
We host large parties and also perform community service.
Dance, sing, eat hearty food and be merry in nature.
Dress up and self-reflect. Honor the darkness.
Perform baptisms on those who want to undergo them.

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Some people claim that humans are essentially good; others claim just the opposite. Where do you stand on this contentious issue?
I believe humans are essentially good.
I don't subscribe to the concepts of good and bad.
Humans are both good and bad. However, the evil arrives from an agent of misfortune that acts on a cosmic level.
Humans are neither good nor evil.

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Many New Age religions still possess a living founder. What type of person would you like your founder to be?
A civil engineering college dropout, a prolific pulp fiction writer and a Navy officer in World War II
A former member of the British Legion of Frontiersmen, the manager of a rubber plantation and an orderly in Voluntary Aid Detachment during World War I
A former circus member, organist in bars, photographer for the San Francisco Police Department and psychic investigator
A former sports-car journalist and test driver who experienced a life-changing extraterrestrial encounter

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Most religions possess plenty of unique traditions. Which one of these practices sounds most ideal for you?
Auditing, where you sit in a room and answer a series of questions while being recorded, which is intended to release trauma.
Chanting and singing so as to produce magic
Gathering around a fire to combat harmful powers
Cabaret performances where you can wear a bracelet that indicates whether you want to be alone, in a couple or meet people.

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Let's talk about your outlook on life. Which of these concepts do you identify with the most?
Scientific approaches can lead to self-actualization.
As long as they do no harm, people should be free to do as they please.
One should act with compassion toward all living things within reason.
One should live in accordance to what feels right to them, not the surrounding culture.

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Some religions such as Buddhism believe in the concept of reincarnation; others like Christianity teach the concept of heaven and hell. So, what's your idea of afterlife sound like?
My immortal spirit moves to a new body, and it continues to do so for all eternity.
My soul leaves my physical body, but I must not concern myself with where it goes. If I live in the present fully and well, my future existence will benefit.
My consciousness survives bodily death in some form.
At death, a judgment comes, which will determine what happens to me next.

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The New Testament of the Bible states, "As you sow, so shall you reap," which essentially translates to the colloquial saying "what goes around comes around." Karma. So, do you believe in it?
Maybe
Yes, if you act malevolently, those actions will return to you three times over.
No, I think the universe is completely indifferent to humans.
Sort of. I think a type of judgment for our actions happens eventually.

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Human cloning is becoming a serious scientific and ethical topic in contemporary society. What's your stance on it?
I think using cloned cells for health and research reasons might be OK.
I think interfering with nature could potentially cause harm, so I'm against it.
I'm neither for nor against it.
I'm all for it. Denying humans the right to clone would be wrong.

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Which of these words do you instinctively gravitate toward?
Science
Nature
Pride
Space

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Like age-old religions, New Age religions utilize images as emblems of their belief systems. So, which of these symbols do you like best?
An S that curls through two triangles like a snake
A Mother Goddess
A horned man with wings
The symbol of infinity

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Let's discuss what's important to you in this life. Which one of these concepts do you value most?
Power
Healing
Liberty
Voluntarism

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Let's look for some spiritual inspiration. Which of these quotes can you get on board with?
"You don't have a soul; you are your own soul. In other words, you are not this book, your social security card, your body, or your mind. You are you."
"We are not on this planet to ask forgiveness of our deities."
“Life is the great indulgence, death the great abstinence! Therefore make the most of the HERE AND NOW!"
"All that happens in the human brain is the result of electrochemical reactions. Be it of love-hate, of pleasure, of suffering, of imagination ..."

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Are you more of an individualist or collectivist?
I'm in the middle.
Collectivist
Very individualist
I'm not sure.

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Time to gather with fellow followers in your place of worship. Where is that located, by the way?
In a church
In nature
A temple
Anywhere

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Many belief systems encourage followers to constantly convert others to their faith. Are you prepared to recruit others to your new religion?
Yes, it's my duty.
Do I have to?
No, no thanks
Maybe

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What type of life would you like to lead?
One surrounded by celebrities and wealthy people.
One in which I live surrounded by nature
A shamelessly self-indulgent one
One in which I'm inspired to explore the possibilities of science

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Which of these religious practices would you most like to engage in?
A detoxification program that includes dietary supplements, exercise and lengthy sauna visits
Sharing a ritual meal
Invoking Satan's name with other followers
Sensual meditation

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Some people say things like "you can do anything if you set your mind to it." What are your thoughts on your potential and the potential of others?
All humans possess numerous unrealized abilities.
Humans possess supernatural powers not typically observed.
Everything is stratified, including people. Some people are exceptionally talented, but not many — either way, the universe's forces do not care.
If humans become more aware, enlightened and peaceful enough, our creators will welcome us and our lives will improve.

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Which one of these professional titles would you most like to be called?
Auditor
The High Priest or Priestess
Grotto Master
Bishop

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Some New Age religions believe in the healing properties of crystals. Which stone will you harness power from?
Quartz
Amethyst
Hematite
Opal

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Some religions, like Christianity, often talk about the concept of holy matrimony. So, what's your take on marriage?
Marriage is key to a healthy family life.
I believe in Pagan handfasting, if one wishes.
Get married if you want, but I certainly don't plan on it.
I just believe that anyone should be able to marry anyone.

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Finally, are you ready to die for your beliefs?
Sure, as then I just get to continue on in a new physical form.
What? No!
Yeah!
We're already dead ...

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You Got: