What Kind of Bloodsucker Are You?

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Kind of Bloodsucker Are You?
Image: Wiki Commons by Uwe Schmidt

About This Quiz

They say blood is thicker than water, but that hasn't stopped mosquitoes from drinking it through straws all these years. Some things in the world are just cut out for a liquid diet, and the liquid they want is running through the veins of the living. As a species, the very idea is fascinating to us. Bloodsuckers are enticing and fearsome for any number of reasons. Just look at how popular the whole mythology of vampires is throughout history. Likely it has something to do with the way we so directly link blood with the idea of life itself. We talk about blood being thicker than water in relation to family. We reference bloodlines. We have blood brothers and sisters. Blood is life. So if something wants to take some of that blood, that life force, it can be both terrifying and powerful to us.

Now let's suppose for a moment you were inclined to be feasting on the blood of another. Lots of animals do it in the wild. The idea of vampires didn't come from thin air, you know. Many creatures are willing to belly up to a warm neck (or wherever) and have a little drink. Some are just more creepy about it than others. So, which one are you? Take the quiz and see!

If you were an actual vampire, where would you be living?
I can hardly tell you that.
A nice, gothic castle somewhere
New Orleans
Paris

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What's the most annoying kind of insect in the world after mosquitoes?
Earwigs
Flies
Wasps
Ants

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When Halloween rolls around, do you put a lot of effort into a costume?
Not a ton of effort
I have the best costumes.
I don't really dress up.
I like weird costumes.

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Everyone has their own internal clock. When do you feel most energized?
Midday
Late night
Early morning
In the evening

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Vampires aside, what's the scariest thing ever?
Sharks
Ghosts
Clowns
Spiders

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No doubt you like a good, rare steak. But what kind of steak?
Sirloin!
A big T-bone
I actually don't like steak.
A nice little filet mignon

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When was the last time you attended a cosplay event in full costume?
It's been years.
I do it all the time!
Never have
Not all that long ago

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How do you handle confrontation with others?
I like to avoid confrontation.
I get right in there.
I'm as sweet as pie.
I try a little misdirection if I can.

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Do you consider yourself an aggressive person at all?
Not in a violent way
When I need to be
Not me
More determined than aggressive

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Is there any kind of environment you feel most comfortable in?
I like lakes and streams.
Open country
I like the islands.
The woods

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How are you spending your night on a typical Saturday around 10 p.m.?
Maybe watching a movie
I'm out having a good time.
Spending some time with friends
Just hanging out

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Have you ever called in sick for work when you're not really sick?
I'll never tell.
I've done that a few times.
Nope!
Sometimes you just need a day off.

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If you were going to be running the night as a creature of darkness, what kind of familiar would you have?
A cat
A bat
A raven
A wolf

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No choosing black or white. What color do you like to wear most often?
Blue
Purple
Red
Gray

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Sometimes our emotions get the better of us. Do you have a temper?
Barely at all
Oh, I've been known to.
A tiny bit
When I'm provoked, I guess.

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What's the one holiday that you feel more excited for than any other?
Fourth of July
Halloween
Thanksgiving
Christmas

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Most people really love a nice, sunny day but they're not for everyone. What's your weather of choice?
I like it when it rains.
A windy day makes me feel like I can fly.
No, I think I like the sun.
Just a nice, warm day is good for me.

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What's your go-to social media app?
YouTube
Instagram
Twitter
Snapchat

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Is bloodsucking necessarily a bad thing?
Not if you need it to live
Nah, it's just part of life.
It could be.
I guess it depends on if you're the one doing the bloodsucking or not.

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How do you think you'd react if you found out that your partner was cheating on you?
I'd probably freak out.
Things would get ugly.
I'd move on, I deserve better.
Sweet revenge!

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When someone wrongs you, do you hold a grudge?
Depends on how I was wronged
Definitely
Not at all
For a while

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They say there are stranger things in Heaven and Earth. Do you believe in the supernatural?
Not really
I've seen things, so yes.
I'm not sure what I believe.
I think so.

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Dracula is the most famous bloodsucker ever. What's your favorite vampire movie?
"Blade"
"From Dusk Till Dawn"
"Twilight"
"The Lost Boys"

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When you're at a party, do you like all eyes on you or do you prefer to stay in the shadows?
I don't need a lot of attention, thanks.
I am a creature of the shadows!
I love attention!
I can flitter back and forth.

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What's the best way to spend a lazy Sunday morning?
Relaxing in bed
Playing video games
Out for a walk
Maybe reading a book

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What's the worst pizza topping of all time?
Anchovies
Pineapple
Olives
Mushrooms

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If someone tries to start trouble with you, what are you going to do to end it?
No one ever starts trouble with me.
Whatever it takes
I'll try to talk my way out of it.
I might have to run away.

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If you had the opportunity to head to Mars as part of a colonization effort, would you do it?
I'm going to say no.
Sounds exciting!
Not a chance
Maybe after people had been there for a long, long time

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If some jerk cuts you off in traffic what are you going to do about it?
Probably nothing
I imagine I'm going to cuss a lot.
I'll probably wish bad things on that person.
The horn shall be honked!

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If you get terrible service at a restaurant, are you going to do anything about it?
Post a salty review on Yelp
Ask to speak to the manager
I just won't go back to that place.
I'm not leaving a tip.

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