What Dark Spell Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
What Dark Spell Are You?
Image: Dina Belenko Photography / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Magic exists in every culture in the world, but not every culture classifies a form of "dark magic." In some cultures, all magic is good or all magic is evil. Regarding many forms of magic familiar to those in the West, there is usually a distinction between magic given by the monotheistic God or the gods that came before versus the devil, or an amalgam of two or more of those parties. Voodoo, for example, merges African spirits with Christian saints, meaning some magic is holy and some less holy. In Europe, traditions come from the pagan magic of pre-Christian Europe, be it of the Celtic variety, the Slavic variety or the completely made-up fever dreams of the Inquisition that inspired such misguided beliefs as described in "Malleus Maleficarum," or "The Hammer of Witches," a book that guided the witch trials of the Middle Ages.

Then there is real magic, the magic of the dark, unknowable intelligences that predate the laws of physics. These beings comprise such bottomless truth and unfettered darkness that to catch even a glimpse of one would mean instant madness. All magic granted by these unspeakable monsters is dark, for they predate all light. Which of their spells are you? Take this quiz to find out.

What do you envy about your professional colleagues?
They get all the breaks!
They never seem to get sick.
Their timing is always perfect.
They have way more fun than I do.
What do you like the most about your professional role model?
They prosper off the destruction of their rivals.
They have a really clear way of seeing things.
They really know their way around.
They know how to turn all situations to their advantage.
What quality do you look for in a patron deity?
A mean streak
Creativity
Power
Roots in history

Advertisement

Which magical sign speaks to you?
The Ankh
The Eye of Providence
Solomon's Seal of Saturn
The Inverted Pentagram
How would you gather the power for your rituals?
Collect plant ingredients
Build power through meditation
Make sacrifices
Chant for hours on end
What dark figure lurks in your dreams?
A half-stag, wearing a crown
A figure made of sketchy lines, with a halo
A man in uniform
An old crone

Advertisement

Who do you look to for spiritual guidance?
Admirable mystics from today
Scientists with a spiritual side
The ancient Greeks
Occult gods
What do you want that your neighbors all seem to have?
They all seem happier than me!
Their houses aren't all falling to bits.
Their cars are all fancier than mine.
Their gardens look so much nicer than mine.
Which of these terrors haunts you the most?
Getting what I want, but having it turn to ashes in my mouth.
Health problems
Never achieving my goals
Repelling everyone

Advertisement

Who do you see as your chief rival?
My professional "friend"
My sibling
My boss
My neighbor
What do you do to blow off steam when you get really mad about something?
I plot elaborate schemes to destroy my enemies.
I work out, hard.
I sabotage the object of my ire.
I try to distract myself with a fun creative project.
In which area did you focus your education?
Business
Medicine
Liberal arts
Law

Advertisement

Which moon phase agitates you the most?
New moon
Waxing gibbous
Waning crescent
Full moon
Which of these statements best describes your mentor?
College professor
Early employer
A family friend
A parent
To what time period are you drawn?
The 1940s
The 1700s
The 1200s
The 1800s

Advertisement

How do you choose a gift for someone you know?
I would think of something useful for them.
I would find something that would increase their safety.
I would get them something they'll use every day.
I'd get them something unique and unforgettable.
What do you want that your boss refuses to give you?
Credit for my hard work
A promotion
A raise
Stock options
When you are looking for a romantic partner, what qualities do you look for?
I don't look for anything in particular.
I look for someone whose health issues aren't the same as mine.
I look for someone reliable.
I require someone openminded.

Advertisement

What do you remember about your childhood bully?
They never got their comeuppance.
They fell victim to an illness in the end.
They missed an opportunity that would have changed their life.
They got ugly and disturbing as they aged.
How would you look for a significant other?
Wing it
Use a dating site where people post their genetic data
Use an activity or religious themed website
Use a really shallow dating app
How do you compare your relative level of wealth?
I compare it to the average of where I live.
I compare it to the people I know who make more.
I compare it to people in the developing nations who are really hard up.
I compare it to my family members.

Advertisement

What quality do you seek in a romantic partner?
A nice body
Intelligence
A pretty face
Kindness
What do you consider the worst kind of pain?
Disappointment
Migraine
Being tantalized
Ostracism
How long do you hold a grudge?
Weeks
A few days
Months
Years

Advertisement

What would you sacrifice for power?
Money
My own blood
My sentimental keepsakes
As many chickens as it takes
Who do you love more than yourself?
No one!
My family
My significant other
My pet
What do your family members have that you do not, that they lord over you?
Traditional trappings of success
Good health
Amazing vacations
Children

Advertisement

In what part of your body do you feel rage?
My cheeks
My forehead
My arms
My chest
How powerful do you feel?
My power is as ironclad as a contract!
I am as swift and merciless as the flu!
I am as powerful as a gorilla!
I am as powerful as the wind!
Which of these dynamics do you fear above all others?
A devil's bargain
Losing my marbles
Always missing the mark
Being forever excluded

Advertisement

You Got: