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What % Crazy Cat Lady Are You?

By: Zoe Samuel

4 min

What % Crazy Cat Lady Are You?

Image: Pexels

About This Quiz

Imagine the first cat lady in all of human history. She was likely an Egyptian. She was likely a noble. The Egyptians not only domesticated cats, but they worshiped them. The first cat lady's strange behavior was probably ignored in the same way that many powerful people, especially those with the power of life and death, are overlooked.

Today, cat ladies abound. Cat ladies come in all shapes and sizes. There are crypto-cat ladies who hide their feline obsession out of fear of judgment. There are feral cat ladies who eschew society, sometimes even retreating to the fringes of civilization so they can enjoy their cat companions. Then there are the proud cat ladies who cat-ify their wardrobes, their home decor, and even their cars, with license plates reading things like "PRR FCT" or "CTS 4VR".

How much do you love cats? Do you have a cat tattoo? Have you considered one? Do you own shirts, jackets, or tote bags with images of cats on them? How easy is it for visitors to tell that you own cats? More importantly, how many cats do you own? Can you even keep track of that number?

If these questions intrigue you, then take this quiz and discover how much cat lady is in you!

How many cats do you own right now?

5

12

2

0

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How many cats have you owned in your lifetime?

10

I have lost count.

3

1

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How many cat related shirts do you own?

12

Is there another kind?

4

1

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How many times have you gone as a cat for Halloween?

13

Every time.

2

1

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What percentage of your cats have human names (like "James" or "Reginald")?

90%

100%

60%

0%

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Have you ever owned a dog?

No! Dogs are gross.

No! How dare you ask me that?

Only once.

I own one now!

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Have you ever owned a bird?

Yes, only once.

Yes, to feed to my cats.

A couple times, as a kid.

Yes, and I own one now!

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Have you ever owned a hamster?

No, they're boring and stupid.

Yes, to feed to my cats.

My class had one.

Yes, when I was growing up.

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Have you ever owned a lizard?

No! They're really weird and gross.

No! It would hurt my cats!

I thought about it once.

I had a newt when I was a kid.

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Have you ever owned fish?

I had a fighting fish, when I was in college.

Yes, I always keep some around, for the cats.

I had some goldfish as a child.

I have a koi.

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Have you ever owned an off-beat pet, like sea monkeys?

No! Only cats! Cats forever!

Yes, to keep my cats' diets varied.

Once, as a joke.

Once, because my parents didn't think I could handle a real pet yet.

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Have you ever cancelled plans to see another human in order to spend time with your cats?

Only on weekdays.

Yes, always.

Only if my cats are sick.

Of course not.

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What is the longest stretch of time you haven't had human contact?

A few days.

Months.

A day or two.

A day.

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What's the longest stretch of time you haven't had feline contact?

A couple of hours.

A few seconds.

A few weeks.

Years.

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Do you refer to your cats as your "children"?

Yes, they are my kiddies!

No, because they are a part of me!

No, they're just my cats.

No, that's... eccentric.

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When was the last time you went on a date?

Years ago.

I don't date.

A few months ago.

Last week.

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Would you date someone who doesn't like cats?

No!

I just wouldn't date anyone.

Sure, everyone deserves a chance.

Of course.

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If you could save 15 cats or one person from a fire, which would it be?

The cats. They love me!

The cats, no question about it.

Probably the person, unless they were someone awful, like a war criminal.

Definitely the person.

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How does cat food taste?

It's delicious.

It's terrible! That's why my cats only eat human food, which I cook for them!

It's like rotten tuna.

I have no idea!

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How much of the time do you feed your cats something other than cat food?

All food is cat food!

All of the time!

Rarely.

Never.

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When you buy cat food, how do you choose?

I'd go for the tastiest stuff, based on my testing.

If I must, I buy the premium stuff.

I'd just get whatever makes them healthier.

I'd get the cheap stuff.

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What breed of cat do you fancy?

Siamese cats.

Manx cats.

Egyptian Mau.

American Curl.

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How much time do you spend watching cat videos, per day?

At least an hour.

None. I'm the one making them.

Fifteen minutes or so.

I don't watch those.

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What is the single best thing about cats?

They are the most loving of all of God's creatures.

There is no single best thing!

They are beautiful.

They eat mice.

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What is the single worst thing about cats?

Taking them to the vet.

Nothing! There is nothing wrong with them!

They kill mice in your home.

They make some bad smells.

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Would you give up cat ownership if it were a danger to your health?

No, but I might cut back a little.

No! I'd just leave something in my estate to take care of them.

I would consider it.

Of course I would.

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On what grounds would you endorse cat ownership to others?

It's the most loving relationship.

It's total fulfillment.

It's nice to have someone to come home to.

I don't know if I would.

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If you had unlimited resources, how many cats would you own?

A couple dozen.

All! I'd own all the cats!

2

1

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Which activity has the makings of the best cat video?

Laser pointer.

Pouncing.

Snuggling.

I don't like cat videos.

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Do you know what Toxoplasma gondii is?

No, but it doesn't sound too bad.

That's the name of one of my cats!

No, but you've got me worried.

Isn't that a microorganism in cat feces that makes people go insane?

You Got:

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