Tell Us a Little About Yourself and We'll Give You a 1637 Name!

By: Zoe Samuel
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
Tell Us a Little About Yourself and We'll Give You a 1637 Name!
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

The 1600's were an interesting century. At the beginning of that hundred-year period, society was still mostly bound by really ancient superstitions, ideas like absolute monarchy were still popular, and the plague was something you got if God was mad at you. 

Contrary to our modern popular myths about the Elizabethan period, however, the idea of a nuclear family being the be-all and end-all of society hadn't really settled in yet. Society wasn't prosperous enough yet to sustain much beyond a subsistence farmer class with an aristocracy in charge of it, and that meant kids were raised by the proverbial village. All women and all men worked unless they were high-level clergy or a lord and family. There was no middle class to speak of, and nation-states constantly went to war with each other.

By 1700, however, things were very different. England had its Civil War and the seeds of the other revolutions - American, French, and so on - were sown. The middle class had been born, and while it wasn't very big yet, it was starting to make its presence felt. The Industrial revolution was but a generation away, and the modern world was beginning to look possible. Science was even taking tentative steps out from the shadow of religion.

How would you have fit into this period of remarkable change? Tell us a little about that, and we'll tell you what name you'd have had!

What industry are you in?
International finance.
Import/export.
The arts.
The service industry.

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What sort of job do you do?
I'm in charge of my division.
I run my little stall.
I am part of a venerable tradition.
I'm just a grunt.

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How educated are you?
I know about business and agriculture.
I know a lot of math.
I'm an expert in the humanities.
I have a high school diploma, barely.

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How many languages do you speak?
3
6
2
1

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How far have you been from your hometown?
I've been all over the world.
I've traveled thousands of miles.
I've traveled hundreds of miles.
I've only been about 50 miles from home.

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Are you a good neighbor?
Only to my adjacent neighbors.
Always.
Not to tourists.
Not to anyone.

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How are you with following orders?
I make the orders, I don't follow them.
I'll follow sane orders.
I don't like that sort of military structure.
I only know how to follow orders.

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Are you okay with being a tiny cog in a big machine?
Only if I'm part of a block and tackle that gives me leverage.
Not too small I hope!
No, I'm a big cog kind of person.
I'm fine with that.

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Are you a native of a major world power?
Not just any world power, THE world power.
A slightly less relevant power.
We like to see ourselves as the biggest power in the world.
We're a sleeping giant.

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Is your nation in decline or ascent?
Ascent.
Decline.
Stasis.
Upheaval.

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Is your nation in much political tumult?
Not at all.
A bit here and there.
Quite a lot!
Very little, since it is inevitably crushed.

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Is your nation currently at war?
Not explicitly.
No.
Yes, a bit here and there.
Yes, very much so.

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Are you riding high on a bull market?
You bet I am!
Usually.
I'm not much of one for capitalism.
I don't even know what a bull market is.

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Are you from a cosmopolitan society?
More than most.
More than nearly all.
One of the more cosmopolitan ones.
Nope, not even a little.

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Are you part of a top down organization?
Yes, but I'm near the top.
No, we're all at the same level, more or less.
No, my society doesn't work like that.
Yeah, story of my life.

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How ambitious are you?
No one is more ambitious than I am.
Fairly ambitious.
My ambitions are for my work, not for myself.
Not even a little.

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How developed is your sense of hospitality?
I'm not a fan of strangers.
I'm a little standoffish.
Fairly developed.
Very well developed.

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How tall are you?
I'm really tall.
I'm a little short.
I'm about average.
I'm very short.

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Do you travel much for work?
I'm always on the road.
I'm usually at the office.
I travel a bit, but I'm mostly in my main port of call.
I travel a lot, but not far.

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Do you spend much time enjoying culture?
I don't care much for culture.
I like certain aspects of it.
I live for culture.
None.

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Do you know many people from outside your home country?
Loads!
More than a few.
Only a few.
None.

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Are you a good sailor?
I'm brilliant at it.
I'm not too shabby!
No, I'm no sailor.
What? You accuse me of witchcraft?

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Is your native tongue the lingua franca?
No, but it is widely spoken.
No, but it's all I need for my trade.
Very much so.
Not even close.

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How do you view the passage of time?
A hockey-stick-shaped graph.
Like a river.
A long road.
A wheel.

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What item do you value the most?
Tulips.
Spices.
Knowledge.
Rice.

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Do you like the way your life is going?
What's not to love?
For the most part, though I have my worries.
I worry mostly about the state of politics.
I worry about everything. My life isn't going well.

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Do you have many plans for the future?
Loads!
I have to have plenty of contingency plans, in case things go sideways.
Nothing I'm not already doing.
No plans.

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How nice are your clothes?
They are austere, but expensive.
They are very fancy!
They are fashionable, but not too expensive.
I wear rags.

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How do you view globalization?
It's the best thing ever!
It's pretty good for everyone.
It allows some great and terrible things.
I don't know what that is.

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Where do you know most of your friends from?
Work.
College.
My hobbies.
Childhood.

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You Got: