How Would You Dispose of a Body?

By: Joshua Laurent
Estimated Completion Time
4 min
How Would You Dispose of a Body?
Image: Shutterstock

About This Quiz

You're never going to have to dispose of a body...or if you are, don't tell anyone. There are so many ways to do it, and so many ways to get caught. What's your foolproof method?
After you kill somebody, can you hold it together enough to focus on disposing of the body?
You don't think you will: you'll need help.
Probably.
Yes, of course.
Your plan will be in place before the murder.

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Do you have access to the kind of weapons available in the game Clue?
No.
You do, but what about fingerprints?
Traditional is not your style.
Yes, every single one.

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Will you be able to keep your mouth shut about the murder and disposal?
100% Yes.
You think so.
You will crack someday and tell somebody.
You worry about the guilt.

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Who or what have been the best mass murderers?
Soldiers during the Crusades.
Famines.
Crazed dictators.
The meteor that killed the dinosaurs.

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If the murder and disposal is a two-person job, what becomes of your partner?
You take a vow of silence and part ways forever.
You kill them before they can kill you.
Nothing. you trust them.
You stay in touch to make sure the other isn't cracking.

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Do you have an alibi?
You haven't figured it out yet.
You're making sure a few people see you directly before and after.
They'll never suspect you in the first place.
Nope, you're rolling the dice on this one.

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If the police ask you to take a lie detector test, what do you do?
Convince yourself that you technically didn't do it somehow.
Refuse. They prove nothing.
Take it. Beat it. Walk.
You exercise your right to remain silent.

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Who would you need to kill for them to suspect you immediately?
Spouse or partner.
Boss.
Enemy.
It doesn't matter. They blame you for everything.

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Can you handle the sight of blood?
Sight, yes, but you're not touching it.
Not at all.
Sure, it's the odor of gallons of it that gets to you.
Love it. The bloodier the better.

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If you're caught, what would likely be the cause?
You behaved in a way that created suspicion.
You didn't make sure anybody was around to see you.
DNA evidence.
It just took too long.

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Who would be the hardest to kill?
An elderly person.
A child.
A family member.
Best friend.

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How far from the murder should the body be disposed?
At least 40 miles.
It doesn't need to be far if you do it correctly.
Same place you killed them. Two birds, one stone.
Three-to-five miles.

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The body is too heavy. What do you do?
Get a dolly.
Hire someone to help, pay them off.
Hire someone to help, kill them too.
Work around it. Too heavy for what?

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Who is your favorite individual mass murderer?
Ted Bundy.
The Zodiac Killer.
Jeffrey Dahmer.
Hannibal Lecter.

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What branch of the military probably hides bodies the best?
Army.
Air Force.
Marines.
Navy.

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What's your biggest fear in burying a body?
The smell.
A dog will dig it up.
Erosion will cause the body to surface.
DNA evidence will get on it.

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What's more important to plan; the murder or the disposal of the body?
Disposal.
As far as specifics go, the murder.
Both are equally important.
Depends where the murder takes place.

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Do you feel like you need to be super creative in disposing of the body?
Yes, they never catch creative people.
No, it's better to keep it simple, creative or not.
As long as you saw it in a movie, it probably will work.
No, go with a classic proven method.

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Which spy best defines you?
James Bond.
Jack Bauer.
Ethan Hunt.
Austin Powers.

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When's the best time to hide a body?
Middle of the day. Nobody suspects it.
10 pm.
3 am.
6:30 am.

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Which season are you most likely to get caught disposing of a body?
Spring.
Winter.
Summer.
Autumn.

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Complete the phrase: Swiss ________?
Cheese.
Miss.
Chocolate.
Army Knife.

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What should you eat before disposing of a body?
Enough to get you through the murder and the disposal.
Plenty of carbs.
Nothing. If you puke, there's DNA in there.
Spaghetti, meatballs and sausage in a thick tomato sauce.

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How long will it be before you can comfortably feel you got away with it?
Two hours.
A year.
Ten years.
You'll never feel comfortable.

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Would you admit to your crime on your deathbed?
Never.
Sure, just as big 'screw you' to everyone.
Yeah, you wouldn't want that on your conscience in the afterlife.
Maybe. You're not sure.

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What's your favorite method for taking in caffeine?
Diet Coke.
Red Bull.
Coffee.
You don't need caffeine. You're naturally wired.

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What's going to be the worst part after you dispose of the body?
Living with the guilt.
Worrying you'll be caught.
The fear that you got a taste for murder and need to do it again.
Not being able to tell anyone.

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How long can you keep the body in the trunk of your car?
Two hours tops.
Days, as long as you wrap it up correctly.
One day.
This shouldn't be a question. You dispose of the body ASAP. Not one second longer than necessary.

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What sport do you feel offers the kind of training needed for body disposal?
Football.
Fishing.
Volleyball.
Hockey.

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Which occupation has the best opportunity for body disposal?
Construction.
Cargo ship captain.
Garbage truck driver.
Butcher.

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You Got: