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About This Quiz
Everyone knows dogs have owners, but cats have staff. How well do you know the needs and dreams of the most demanding employer you'll ever have? Take this quiz to find out!
Do you know your cat's favorite treat?
Yes, it's leftover fish.
I think so, it's my furniture.
It's probably catnip.
I don't know, my cat probably likes everything.
Does your cat bring you dead animals?
Yes, it's a sign of love, so I appreciate it.
Yes, it's annoying.
Once but I made clear it wasn't to happen again.
No, should it?
If your cat disappears for hours, could you accurately predict where she is at any given time?
Yes, she has a routine: at 9 a.m. she goes to the fish market for yesterday's scraps; at 11 a.m. she goes to visit old Mrs. McGreevey who always gives her a belly rub; at 1 p.m. she goes to the playground where the kids admire her; at 3 p.m. she goes to the park and catches a mouse or rat; and by 5 p.m. she's home ready to be fed and cuddled.
Only if it was at a certain time of day when I know the fish market closes.
Only if it's trash collection day since my cat would be getting into people's trash cans.
No idea.
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Do you just know when they're about to hock up a hairball?
Yes, before my cat knows!
Yes, from a few minutes before.
No, only when it comes up.
Is that what that is? Ewwww!
What's your cat's opinion on your TV viewing habits?
We love all the same shows!
My cat approves of me watching a lot of tv because then we can snuggle while I stay mostly still.
My cat does not seem to like it when the TV is on.
Why would a cat even have an opinion?
How much of your bed has your cat colonized?
All of it.
Most of it.
A pillow.
My cat doesn't go on my bed.
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Do you two snuggle on the regular?
Yes, twice a day.
Yes, daily.
Yes, on weekends when I have time.
I can't remember our last snuggle.
How does your cat feel about your nickname(s) for them?
It loves them.
It's fine with them.
They're indifferent.
It hates them.
Does your cat have a nickname for you (probably)?
I think they'd nickname me "God."
I think they'd nickname me "Mom or Dad."
No, I don't think so.
I think they'd nick name me "My next victim."
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Does your cat get mad if dinner is not ready on the dot of the appointed hour?
No, but I'll get a reminder.
No, but she will guilt me into doing as she likes.
Yes, and she will meow until I get dinner ready.
Yes, and she will destroy my curtains until dinner is ready.
What does your cat think of your significant other?
It loves them!
It's fine with them.
It's usually very tolerant.
It secretly plans their doom.
What scares your cat?
Nothing! It's very brave.
Thunder, horror movies, and dogs.
Me, when I get angry.
Everything.
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Could your cat be a good ambassador to dogs?
Of course! It's very friendly.
It'd be a good cat representative.
It would, but only with friendly dogs.
No way!
Does your cat like other cats?
No, and neither do I!
It likes some other cats.
Sure, it has some friends.
My cat likes any cat it runs into.
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Does your cat have strong opinions about which collar he likes to wear?
Yes! He likes the sparkly diamond one.
I think he does.
I don't think he does.
I have no idea. Is that a thing?
Does your cat respect your property?
Of course, it does.
Mostly.
Sometimes.
It has ruined more of my clothes than I care to think of.
Does your cat use its litter tray politely?
Of course! It's very well mannered.
It only missed the litter tray once, when it was sick.
Sometimes it doesn't, to make a point.
No, it just goes where it likes, and uses my record collection as a scratching post.
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Does your cat have any friends?
Just me!
Just me and my significant other.
Me and all my friends and family.
Anyone with tuna.
If your cat could talk... would it?
Of course! We'd have so much to discuss!
Probably, so it could demand food and attention.
Maybe, but I don't know for sure.
It would call 9-1-1, swat at me, and escape when the door was opened.
If it did talk, what would it say?
"I love you!"
"I like you a lot!"
"You're okay."
"As soon as you leave a window open, I'm out of here."
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Does your cat get anxious when you put on a horror movie?
Of course! Cuddle time!
If it's got loud noises, yes.
Sometimes.
Never.
When you're happy, is your cat happy?
Naturally, as we do everything together.
I read what it does as happiness.
I think it's happy, but I don't know.
No.
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How does your cat react when you get home?
It comes to me for some love.
It says hello and goes to the couch for a cuddle.
It looks at me, and stands patiently by its food bowl.
It ignores me.
If you ignore your cat when it wants attention, how does it react?
It walks on my keyboard.
It walks on my food.
It walks on my face.
It pees on the couch.
If you bother your cat when it doesn't want attention, does it put up with it?
Of course! Mr. Fimmel loves me!
Usually, if I want to do something fun.
Occasionally.
Never.
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Does your cat like listening to music with you?
It likes doing everything with me!
It will sit through most music I listen to.
It likes some of the music I do.
No.
Is your cat afraid of thunderstorms?
It is, and it climbs into my lap when there is thunder.
It doesn't like them much and sits near me.
It's okay with them.
I've never seen my cat worried about thunder.
Be honest: if you were removed from your home and replaced with another human who smelled similar and provided the same amount of belly rubs and food, would your cat notice?
Of course it would notice! We are family!
Probably, and it would not be happy.
It might when we don't play with the laser pointer.
No, it wouldn't know the difference.
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