How Well Do You Know These "Caddyshack" Quotes?


By: J.P. Naomi

6 Min Quiz

Image: tmdb

About This Quiz

Think you have what it takes to finish these quotes? How about the character who said them? Take this quiz now and you'll realize how many "Caddyshack" quotes are already in your vocabulary!

"Last time I saw a ______ like that, it had a hook in it."

This is one of the most famous Caddyshack quotes. Al Czervik was the character who said it.


"Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free _________, huh?"

As Al Czervik says this famous line, he turns around and sees Judge Smails. Smails happens to be wearing that same exact hat.


Who said, "Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?"

Al Czervik was portrayed by actor Rodney Dangerfield. He passed away in 2004 at the age of 82.


Who said, "Will you come loofah my stretch marks?"

Mrs. Smails is portrayed by actress Lois Kibbee. Kibbee was most known for her roles on daytime soap operas such as "The Edge of Night."


Who said, "What’s wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards."

Danny Noonan says to Ty, "I haven't even told my father about the scholarship I didn't get. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life." Ty replies with this famous line: "What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards."


Confused about why Ty does not keep score, Judge Smails asks, "Then how do you measure yourself with other golfers?" Ty replies...

Judge asks Ty how he shot that day. When Ty tells him that he doesn't keep score, Judge was very confused!


Who said, "Stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball"?

Ty Webb was portrayed by actor Chevy Chase. Chase first began acting in "National Lampoon."


"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a _____."

Caddyshack was made on a $6 million budget. It grossed more than $39 million at the box office.


The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, ‘A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a ________.’

The full quote by Ty is: "Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy."


"I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. But I have a _________, so I got that going for me, which is nice."

This famous line was spoken by Carl Spackler. He was portrayed by actor Bill Murray.


"Carl, I want you to kill all the _________ on the course."

Judge Smails is outraged that he saw a gopher on the golf course. Sandy McFiddish then instructs Carl to get rid of all of the gophers on the course.


"You know, you should play with ________ and myself. I mean, he’s been club champion for three years running and I’m no slouch myself."

Judge Smails says this line to Ty. Smails is portrayed by actor Ted Knight.


Who said, "It’s not my fault nobody can understand what you’re saying."

Bill Murray first appeared on "Saturday Night Live." He then went on to star in films including, "Meatballs," "Caddyshack" and "Stripes."


"Don't sell yourself short, Judge, you’re a tremendous _______."

"Caddyshack" was directed by Harold Ramis and produced by Douglas Kenney. It was released on July 25, 1980.


"The world needs ___________, too."

Danny says to Judge, "I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college." Judge replies with this line!


Who says to Danny, "You're not being the ball Danny"?

Chevy Chase was born Cornelius Crane Chase. He has been married three times and has three children.


"This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia."

Carl Spackler is one of the greenskeepers at the Bushwood Country Club. He not only believes this grass is good for the course, but also good for smoking.


"Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?"

Lacey Underall is portrayed by actress Cindy Morgan. She is known for this role, as well as Lora/Yori in "Tron."


"Bless this ship, and all who sail on her. I christen thee _________."

Mrs. Smails speaks this famous line, though nobody's actually flying... the boat stays in the water!


"Hey, Smails! My dinghy’s bigger than your whole boat!"

Al Czervik is a brash and obnoxious nouveau riche - the French term meaning he is newly rich.


"A ________, you know, a caddy, a _______, a jock..."

Carl, in a conversation with Angie D'Annunzio, goes on a long tirade about his experience in Tibet and the Himalayas.


"I thought you’d be the man to beat this year."

Dr. Beeper was portrayed by actor Dan Resin. Resin was born in 1931 and passed away in 2010.


"I guess you’ll just have to keep beating yourself."

Ty, with his often inappropriate comments, says this line to Dr. Beeper in response to his quote: "I thought you'd be the man to beat this year."


"Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!"

Rodney Dangerfield was born Jacob Cohen on November 22, 1921. He was first known as a stand-up comedian, before entering the world of acting and producing.


What does Danny reply when Ty asks, "You take drugs, Danny?"

Danny is portrayed by actor Michael O'Keefe. Other than "Caddyshack," O'Keefe is known for his role as Ben Meechum in "The Great Santini."


"I want a hamburger. No, cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato salad..."

Spalding Smails, portrayed by actor John F. Barmon, Jr. Barmon, Jr., has only one acting credit on his resume, but a well-known one... "Caddyshack!"


"In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'."

Carl prepares the dynamite at the opening of the gopher tunnel. He then speaks this famous line.


"The Good Lord would never disrupt the best game of my life."

Bishop Fred Pickering is portrayed by actor Henry Wilcoxon. He is best known for starring in many of Cecil B. DeMille's films.


"I've often thought of entering the priesthood."

Danny Noonan says this line to Bishop who replies, "Oh, are you a Roman Catholic?" When Danny says no, Bishop proceeds, "Oh, then I'm sorry, but I'm afraid you can't come."


"My uncle says you've got a screw loose."

Lacey says this to Ty, and he replies, "Your uncle molests collies."


“We have a pool and a ______.

Carl asks Ty if his place has a pool. Ty replies, "We have a pond in the back. We have a pool and a pond... Pond'd be good for you."


“This is your wife, huh? Hey baby, you must’ve been something before _________.”

"Caddyshack" was written by Douglas Kenney, Harold Ramis and Brian Doyle-Murray. The film was distributed by Warner Bros.


“In order to conquer an animal, I have to think like an animal, and whenever possible, _____________.”

In this full quote, Carl explains how he plans to attack the gopher situation, "I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days.


"Hey you scratched my _______!"

Al says this to Judge Smails. He drops his bow anchor on Judge Smail's sailboat and it sinks.


"Freeze Gopher!"

Carl Spackler takes his job very seriously. The full quote is, "Pay no attention to that bush, moving around over there by that tree, it’s just a bush. Nothing to look twice at. Nothing to be alarmed about. This looks like it could be gravy. I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang. Freeze gopher!"


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