Can We Guess Your Birth Month Based on These Morally Questionable Questions?

By: Teresa McGlothlin

Can We Guess Your Birth Month Based on These Morally Questionable Questions?
Image: Can We Guess Your Birth Month Based on These Morally Questionable Questions?

About This Quiz

Each of the zodiac signs has a set of traits and qualities. Where do you think they get these signs? They get them from the months, of course! OK ... maybe that's not really how it works, but we do think we'll be able to figure out which month you were born in by the way you answer some questionable questions. 

We're not saying there's any correlation, but being born in the winter means you had a lot of time on your hands to create birthday time mischief. Being born in the summer means you certainly know how to let it all hang out. Take off the perfectly behaved face you wear in public, and show what you're birth month has instilled in you. You can try to hide it, but your bad behavior is more telling than your manners! 

October or February? March or September? Which month gets to claim you and all of your naughty tendencies? Throughout this quiz, you'll make choices you might not want to share with your mother — or maybe you will. If you were born in November, you probably will, won't you? 

In any event, scroll down to begin your descent into darkness. Will we guess your correct birth month? Let's find out! 

Q1 - smoking During your lunch break, your coworkers are sharing a special cigarette. Are you joining in?
We can use my lighter!
No, I need to stay focused.
Umm ... that's mighty tempting.
I might join in after work.

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Q2 - sofa Your ex wants his expensive furniture back. Will you deliver the goods?
It's mine now, mother trucker!
I'm keeping the couch.
My ex can come get it when I'm not here.
I already sold it!

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Q3 - refuse If your best friend's partner tried to kiss you, would you kiss and tell?
Pucker up, buttercup.
I would tell my best friend about it!
If it's just a little peck, there's no harm in it.
I'm sure my best friend is watching.

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Q4 - bread You're strapped for cash, but you need to take something to a potluck. What are you going to take?
I'll wrap a loaf of bread in foil, and they'll think I made it.
I think I have half a bag of potato chips in the cupboard.
I'll sacrifice one of my roommate's bottles of wine.
I'm enough of a gift!

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Q5 - lunch Linda doesn't seem to be eating the lunch marked "Linda's Lunch." Will you?
Thanks, Linda.
I would ask Linda first.
Linda has crappy taste in food. No thanks!
If she doesn't eat it by 3 p.m., it's mine.

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Q6 - donut You've been accused of swiping the last donut off the break room table. They were saving it for Bob. How do you respond?
"Fake news!"
"You snooze, you lose, Bob."
"I saw Bob eat a donut earlier."
"Yeah. I ate it. And?"

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Q7 - flight How do you make the kid behind you on a flight stop kicking your seat?
I'll pull out my phone and tell the kid that I'm calling a monster who likes to eat little kids.
If I kick the parent, the message will be clear.
There's nothing wrong with being asked to move.
A few little bottles of Scotch should knock me out.

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Q8 - sample Does the free sample section of a grocery store look more like a meal to you?
I fill up on grapes before I get there.
Those samples are nasty.
Heck, yeah! I don't have to cook when I see those.
That's the only reason I go to Costco.

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Q9 - quit Would you quit your job if you accidentally sent your boss a nude photo?
Yeah, it's time to move on.
Maybe I'll finally get that raise ...
It's not like I don't have a nude photo of my boss.
No, but I would volunteer to do all the horrible jobs for a year.

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Q10 - flirt The new coworker is too hot for words! How do you welcome them to the crew?
I would offer an exclusive tour of the supply closet. Wink, wink ...
I'm rude to the new people until they prove themselves.
"Hi. Let's start off with lunch and end up with breakfast."
I need a new partner in crime. I'll save my coworker from the other office pervs.

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Q11 - Phone Are you going to peek at your date's phone since they left it on the table?
I might glance at it.
Let's find out what this person is really all about!
That's a bad way to start a relationship.
If it gets a text, I'm looking!

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Q12 - sweater Congrats! You're the new owner of Aunt Ethel's latest knitted sweater. How do you say thanks?
I take it home and burn it.
It's perfect for this year's ugly sweater party.
She's nuts! I'll put it on to make her smile.
Thanks, Aunt Ethel! I'll regift this when the holidays roll around.

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Q13 - grocery Do you say something if the cashier only rang up half your groceries?
I walk to my car as quickly as possible without saying a word.
I don't want the cashier to get in trouble, but I need the cash. This is a moral crisis.
If it were only a few things, I wouldn't say anything.
I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a shoplifter.

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Q14 - secret You've been asked to keep a secret, but you think someone needs to know. Do you keep it?
I don't keep secrets. They stress me out.
I might blab after a few drinks.
If someone's going to get hurt, I'm talking.
I'll keep the secret if they do something for me.

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Q15 - reunion Time has not been kind to your high school sweetheart. Do you point it out at the reunion?
Now's my chance!
No, but I'll point and laugh.
Karma seems to have handled this one for me.
I'll ignore them all night and laugh with my friends later.

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Q16 - money There's $400 in a wallet you found. Are you going to turn it in?
What cash? I'll turn in the wallet, though.
This is a trap. I'm not going near it. It's like that "What Would You Do?" show. Someone's watching.
What wallet?
I need the good mojo. I'll turn it in.

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Q17 - goldfish How will you explain that your roommate's goldfish crossed the Rainbow Bridge while you were watching it?
I'll pretend not to notice until they get back.
I'll send a text with a picture of McFloaty and caption it "RIP."
I'm sure I can find one at the pet store that looks the same. My roommate will NEVER notice.
I've been meaning to move out.

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Q18 - medicine Would you snoop through your best friend's medicine cabinets to find something for a headache?
No, but I might look for a condom.
Been there, done that.
My best friend keeps it in their purse.
I snoop through everyone's cabinets.

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Q19 - date It's getting hot and heavy on a first date. Is it too soon to hook up?
It's never too soon to hook up.
If it feels good, do it.
Let's at least wait until the second date.
Sure, it will give me something to talk about at work tomorrow.

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Q20 - buy drink Are you going to let that guy across the room buy your date a drink, or are you going to say something?
I'll just wink at him.
I'm going to march over there and tell him to stay away from what's mine.
He saved me a few bucks! Thanks, man.
It's a good time to lean in and kiss my date.

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Q21 - dog The neighbor's dog is getting a little too friendly with your leg. How do you make it stop?
I would buy the dog a pillow.
Dogs need to get freaky, too. I don't mind.
It would make a good TikTok. Maybe my neighbor will see it and make it stop.
A spray bottle will take care of that.

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Q22 - ear pods Would you permanently borrow the sweet earbuds your coworker just bought?
I'll order my own, thanks.
She'll never notice!
I'll add a pair to the office supply list this week.
Ewww. No one wants her nasty ear germs!

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Q23 - note Nothing annoys you more than someone who takes up two parking spaces! What sort of note would you leave?
It would involve a few curse words.
I would zip tie the car's doors.
Posting a picture on social media is the best way to handle it.
I'll draw a middle finger.

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Q24 - office How would you handle finding your boss getting it on while on the clock?
I'm breaking out my phone. This will go viral!
Here's how I get that raise I wanted!
I have to let everyone else know.
I'm going straight to HR!

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Q25 - party Think about that one time in college and fill in the blank: I got so turnt last night that I ______.
Ate all of the saltines
Slept with my best friend
Threw up in my mom's vase
Used the closet as the bathroom

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Q26 - flirt Would you flirt with a police officer to get out of a ticket?
I would flirt and pretend to cry.
Whatever gets me out of the ticket is what I will do.
Crying is much more effective.
If it's a hot cop, I'll flirt and take the ticket so I have the officer's number.

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Q27 - christmas Ugh! You drew the name of the family member you hate for a gift exchange. What are they getting?
Chocolates
Some of my old makeup
An old gift card
Some deodorant and a razor

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Q28 - Smelly Do you say anything about the person who just passed gas at the weekly meeting?
Say something? I would pull the fire alarm!
I'm pointing at Bob or Linda.
I would say, "I meant to do that."
I wouldn't be able to stop laughing long enough to say something.

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Q29 - parking Have you ever moved someone's car to a different spot while they were shopping?
Not yet, but that's a great idea!
That's a felony. No way!
No, but I like to move stuff around the house to drive my partner insane.
Guilty!

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Q30 - bouncer The bouncer doesn't want to let you in. How do you convince him?
A few bucks will work.
I'll flaunt what my maker gave me.
I'll take him out.
I'll share my weed with him.

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