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Build Your Perfect Pizza and We'll Guess Your Relationship Status

By: Bri O.

4 min

Build Your Perfect Pizza and We'll Guess Your Relationship Status

Image: n/a

About This Quiz

Do you snuggle with a body pillow or another body at night? You might not think building your perfect pizza will answer that question for us, but we promise to do our best to prove you wrong. Choose the kind of crust you like most, add some toppings, and some cheese. Knowing about your ideal slice will let us know if you are hitched or hanging tough on Tinder.

We all have that one weird friend who doesn't like pizza, but you won't find that sort of negativity in this quiz. This quiz is not only dedicated to your relationship status, it's also committed to making sure you have the choices you need to build the pizza of your dreams. If only relationships were so easy, right? By the time you've finished, you'll most likely be a little hungry, but you will have also given us enough information to take our best guess at your relationship status.

Wow us with your culinary choices and your love of pizza pie! You won't need anyone to help, but you might feel more comfortable in a pair of pants with a waistband. Just answering questions about your perfect pizza will make you peckish!

How large is the perfect pizza?

A small, personal pizza

Medium

Large

Extra large

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What's the perfect amount of cheese?

There can never be too much cheese.

A little more than the average amount.

Whatever the normal amount is.

I always ask for plenty of extra cheese, but it's easy to overdo it.

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How many different toppings would the perfect pizza include?

More than four toppings

Four toppings

Just cheese, so no toppings.

Two toppings

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At what time of day would you want to eat it?

I'd like to enjoy it for several hours, starting late afternoon. And leftovers to be eaten whenever I want.

Preferably the morning.

Around 7 p.m.

A lunch time perfect pizza sounds nice.

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How should the sauce be?

Very sweet

Traditional marinara

Sweet, but not so much that it overpowers the spices.

Seasoned with pungent spices.

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Are we talking traditional style pizzas or unique takes on pizza, like a BBQ chicken or margarita pizza?

BBQ chicken pizza sounds delicious. I'll take one of those.

Mainly traditional, but with some unique twists in toppings, crust, or another aspect of the pizza.

As traditional as it gets.

Does the margherita pizza include alcohol? Sign me up.

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In terms of geography, you'd want your perfect pizza to be inspired by...?

Chicago style

New York style

Whatever style I live near

L.A. style

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How should the crust be?

Deep dish for sure.

The thinner the better.

I like a doughy crust, but not too thick.

The thicker the better.

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Any veggies?

Artichoke

Green pepper

Nope

All the veggies

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What about anchovies or other seafood?

Crab meat could add an interesting flavor...

Anchovies sound good.

Clam or tuna.

Absolutely not.

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Would you share your perfect pizza with anyone?

Probably not, unless I had plenty of leftovers and was feeling generous.

Yeah... but I wouldn't necessarily want to share it.

For sure - how could I not share something so perfect?

Nope, it'd be all mine.

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What type of dough would make for the perfect crust?

Neapolitan style

Sicilian style

New York style

A basic pizza dough will do.

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How many different types of meat would the perfect pizza include?

At least 4

3

0

Less than 3

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How well-done should it be?

Just done enough for the dough to be cooked and the cheese to be melted.

The cheese should be golden brown in some areas along with the crust.

I like the crust to be firm, but still soft when bitten into.

I like it to be a bit crisp and burnt.

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Where would be the perfect place to eat your perfect pizza?

It depends on my mood at the time, maybe in a restaurant or maybe in the parking lot of the restaurant or maybe in my bed.

I don't care as long as I get to eat it.

It'd be nice to sit down at a restaurant to enjoy the perfect pizza.

Alone in the comfort of my home, while watching something entertaining.

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What's the perfect cheese to sauce ratio?

Heavy on the cheese, light on the sauce.

Light on the cheese, heavy on the sauce.

Average amounts of both.

Heavy amounts of both.

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How hot should it be?

Burnt-tongue hot

Just barely cooled enough to tolerate consuming.

It should be warm, but not hot.

I don't care much about the temperature. I eat cold pizza all the time.

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Who would cook your perfect pizza?

It'd be sweet if I somehow made myself the perfect pizza.

Whoever works at the pizza joint I usually order from.

A reputable chef.

Ideally, it'd come out of a box from my freezer and go into my oven.

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Would you require any dipping sauce?

Ranch

Some other dressing

Nope

Garlic

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What would be the perfect side to accompany your perfect pizza?

Bread sticks

The perfect pizza requires no sides.

A side salad would be nice.

Garlic bread

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Are there any other condiments you'd need?

Chili flakes

Parmesan

Oregano or basil

Hot sauce

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What would be the perfect toppings to cheese ratio?

The toppings should completely cover the cheese.

The toppings should be evenly spread and spaced out around the pizza.

I like plain cheese pizza - no toppings.

Toppings should be used sparingly.

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What would totally ruin the perfect pizza?

Burnt crust/cheese

Wrong crust thickness

Wrong toppings

Wrong size (too small)

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Which of these toppings sounds delish?

Pineapple

Mushrooms

No toppings - just cheese.

Olives

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What sorts of seasonings are an absolute must have?

Whatever the typical seasonings are.

Pepper

Oregano

Garlic, garlic, and more garlic.

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How should the pizza be sliced?

In half. I'll eat an entire half at once.

Into small triangle slices

Into large triangle slices

Into squares/rectangles

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How many different types of cheeses would make for the perfect pizza?

3

1

4 or more

2

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Onions should be...

Red

Caramelized

Not on the perfect pizza

Sweet

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How stretchy should the cheese be?

It should be super gooey and stretchy.

I like it when it snaps/tears easily.

Not too stretchy, I don't want to choke.

I don't have much of a preference.

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What's the perfect meat to veggie ratio?

Way more meat than veggies.

An equal amount of both.

No veggies or meat, just cheese.

Way more veggies than meat or no meat.

You Got:

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