Image: Columbia Pictures
About This Quiz
Whether you got to know "Little Women" through reading Louisa May Alcott's beloved novel or by watching the 1994 movie version with Winona Ryder, one thing's for sure: you want to know which March sister you'd be! Jo, Beth, Amy and Meg each represent a different archetype of the female personality, making them the Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha of the Victorian era.
Like Carrie, Meg is a romantic, focused on finding "the one." Jo, on the other hand, is a total Miranda, caring far more about her career than about getting married. With her meek, considerate demeanor, Beth has major Charlotte vibes, while hot blonde Amy (the most direct March sister) doesn't let anybody get in the way of her goals, just like Samantha!
So, which one are you? That's what we're going to find out today. After all, there are only so many times you can reread "Little Women" and imagine what you'd do if Laurie had proposed to you instead of Jo. If you're hungry for a new way to think about Louisa May Alcott's world, put down that copy of "Pilgrim's Progress" and take this quiz! (We promise we won't throw your novel in the fire while you're playing it.)
Where do you fall in your family's birth order?
I'm the oldest.
I'm second in line (and competitive with my elder sibling!)
I'm the baby of the family or an only child.
(Sigh) I'm somewhere in the middle. Even I don't remember where.
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Do you ever fight with your siblings?
I try not to, but they are annoying.
I'm always warring with those jerks.
Yes, when they don't let me have my way.
No, of course not! I love my fam.
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If you were a contestant on "The Bachelor," what kind of contestant would you be?
The pretty and savvy eventual winner
The crazy one who makes it much farther than you would have thought
The, um, "friendly" one with the tight dresses
The normal one who gets cut immediately for being boring
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What's your most Victorian hobby?
Embroidery and/or blushing
Writing trashy stories under a pen name
Playing croquet and turning down marriage proposals
Tinkling around on the piano
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Imagine your fanciest relatives have invited you to travel with them. You'd have to leave behind your loved ones, but you'd get some amazing opportunities to advance your career. Do you go?
Of course not. I have to stay home so I can hang out with my boyfriend!
No, but only because I hate fancy people.
HECK YES. Screw my family.
No way. That sounds too intimidating for this introvert.
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Do you relate to the song "I Enjoy Being a Girl" or do traditional gender roles make you snooze?
I SO enjoy being a girl!
If you want to be traditional, that's fine, but it's not for me.
I'm a Third Wave feminist. I want to be powerful AND feminine.
IDK, I don't have the energy to obsess about stuff like that.
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Would you ever date one of your sisters' exes? What if they were REALLY cute?
Probably not. I really care about my sisters.
(Clears throat) A GOOD person would never do that, AMY.
Look, sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.
I'm not much of a dater, so no.
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What's your "one beauty"?
My gorgeous hands
My long, thick hair
My wonderful complexion
My large eyes
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Let's say your neighbor's children have the flu and are contagious. Their parents are sick too. How would you help them?
I'd recommend they go to the ER for antibiotics.
I'd send them some chicken soup.
Dude, if they're sick it's their own business, not mine.
I'd nurse them myself, even if it made me sick as well.
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Would you rather be famous or deeply in love?
Deeply in love!
Famous!
How about rich and famous?
I'm just happy to be alive.
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Imagine your sister is being super mean. Would you burn the only copy of her novel as revenge?
No. What am I, a psychopath?
Such an action would be cruel beyond imagining, AMY.
Yes. Sorry, but being mean to your sisters is WRONG.
I'd much rather just pet a kitten.
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Be honest: what's your fatal flaw?
I'm a tiny bit too materialistic.
I act without thinking about the consequences.
SOME people say I'm self-centered, but I don't agree!
I'm very nice, actually. I just have a weak immune system.
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Which of these "Victorian lady" jobs sounds the least depressing to you?
Governess
Headmistress of a school
Obedient wife and mother
Spinster daughter who stays home to take care of her parents
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Let's say that half your friend group is at war over a bunch of petty nonsense. How do you handle it?
I'd stay out of it. Things will sort themselves out without my interfering.
Lol, I'm probably one of the people in the war!
I'm a messy witch who loves drama, so to be honest, I'd probably be stirring the pot.
I hate unnecessary conflict, so I would try to make peace between all the different factions. Life's too short for hate!
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Would you ever date someone who was a lot older than you?
Nah. What would we talk about?
Sure! After all, I'm an old soul.
He'd have to be VERY wealthy.
No. I don't actually date men.
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Do you know what pickled limes are, and if so, would you ever hoard them?
I know what they are and I think they're gross.
I don't know what they are. Is this some odd Victorian thing?
I adore pickled limes, okay? Stop criticizing me!
I know what they are and I like them, but I don't think I deserve them because I have low self-esteem.
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Are you lucky, unlucky or normal?
Normal, I think. My luck isn't particularly good or bad.
Actually, I make my own luck.
I'm lucky (but I deserve it, imo.)
Sometimes I think I'm cursed. 😢
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How much money do you need to be happy?
I don't need a lot, but I don't want to struggle for the basic necessities.
Well, I want to be an artist, so it would be nice if an inheritance fell into my lap.
It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one.
Not much, as long as I have my family and friends.
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When your good friends get into serious relationships, are you annoyed because it means they won't be able to hang out as much?
No. That's just a natural part of getting older.
Yes! Who cares about significant others? My friendships are EVERYTHING.
No, because sometimes their partners are cuties who flirt with me.
To be honest, I feel jealous. But I guess that's just the way life goes.
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Do you have a passion for fashion?
Yep! Love to wear silk.
I don't care about fashion AT ALL.
It's why I get up in the morning.
I'd like to be fashionable, but somehow trendy clothes never look good on me.
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Let's say you're feeling lonely. How do you handle it?
I focus on my children.
I marry the first guy I see, even if he's kind of a slob.
I call up my rich relatives and ask them if they want to hang out.
I insist on snuggling with all my cats.
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Your sister gets a terrible haircut. What do you say to her about it?
"Hmm. That's ... an interesting choice."
"it's only hair."
"Oh no! Now you're hideous!"
"I still love you, dear."
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How lazy are you?
Not very. I like to keep busy.
I'm pretty anxious, so I like to keep my schedule full.
Actually, I'd stay in bed all day if I could.
I'm not lazy, I'm exhausted!
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Do you get massive FOMO when you find out your loved ones have plans that don't include you?
No. I mean, it's nice to be invited places, but I don't have that much free time anyway.
Yes, but I try not to show it.
Yes, and I'm not afraid to throw epic tantrums about it, even if they make everyone hate me!
No. I prefer relaxing at home to going out.
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Being an old maid: tired or wired?
Tired
Wired!
Depressing AF
Better than being married in an era when women had few rights
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Who's your favorite Victorian author BESIDES Louisa May Alcott?
Charles Dickens
George Eliot
Oscar Wilde
Thomas Hardy
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You're stuck in bed with a cold and need to relax. Which TV show will you binge?
"Jane the Virgin"
"The Good Fight"
"Gossip Girl"
"Call the Midwife"
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Would you rather marry rich hottie Theodore "Laurie" Laurence or gruff German professor Fritz Bhaer?
I'd rather marry a foxy tutor, like John Brooke.
Gruff professors are bae, no lie.
How is this even a question? I'm all about Laurie.
(Sigh) I don't really see myself getting married.
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Which of these quotes do you relate to the most?
“I don’t want a fashionable wedding, but only those about me whom I love, and to them I wish to look and be my familiar self.”
“I like good strong words that mean something.”
"I want to be great, or nothing. I won't be a common-place dauber, so I don't intend to try anymore.”
"Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy."
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You Got: