Answer These Random Questions and We’ll Guess How NSFW Your Life Is

By: Teresa McGlothlin
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Answer These Random Questions and We’ll Guess How NSFW Your Life Is
Image: riccardo bianchi / Moment / Getty Images

About This Quiz

After you have finished this quiz, we will either think you are precious, or we will head straight to the bathroom to wash our eyes out with soap. While some of you might night need to come with warning labels, there are some of you that should have a sign around your neck that says NSFW! Where will you fall on our scale?

We could ask you a series of wordy questions about your lifestyle and your ways in the bedroom, but we have found that catching someone a little off guard is the best way to get to know them. We are going to try to surprise you with our random questions. Then, we'll use your responses to tell us how smutty or how squeaky clean your life really is.

There's no need to hold back your answers because you might not want anyone to know the truth! We promise to practice full discretion, and we'll keep your answers between the two of us. Once we tell you how NSFW your life might be, you'll want to know where your friends fall, too. In that case, we urge you to share your level of NSFW with them. Will they do better than you? Only one way to find out!

Did you get lucky this morning?
Oh, yes.
That's my business.
It was last night.
It's been a while.

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What is your sexiest body part?
My butt is to die for!
My eyes are pretty hot.
My bosom gets a lot of attention.
I don't discriminate.

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How old is your vehicle?
It's from the '70s.
It's fairly new.
I don't drive.
It's over ten years old.

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Which soup sounds tastiest?
Chicken Noodle
Spicy Carrot
Tomato
Minestrone

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Which candle scent would you like?
Unscented
Honeysuckle
Sugar Cookie
Pumpkin Spice

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What would you name a new pet?
Booger
Socks
Millie
Angus

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How do you feel about strip clubs?
They feel like home!
I've never been to one.
They are always dirty.
I have nothing against them.

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How are you karaoke skills?
I should be a recording artist.
I never do karaoke.
I'm a bit of a karaoke legend.
I'm good after a few drinks.

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Which safe word would you use?
Pickle
What's a safe word?
Tissue
Gluesniffer

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Which television chef do you like most?
Gordon Ramsey
Rachel Ray
Aron Sanchez
Alton Brown

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Which superpower do you want?
Superhuman strength
Mind reading
Power of flight
Power of invisibility

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Which word makes you giggle?
Dong
Bum
Fanny
Willy

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Do you curse a lot?
Do leopards have spots?
I never curse.
I'm cursing right now.
I only curse when I'm angry.

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Which liquor suits your fancy?
Whiskey
I don't drink.
Vodka
Gin

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What kind of kid were you?
I was mischevious.
I was studious.
I was a weird kid.
I was a sweet kid.

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Which band do you like most?
Twisted Sister
NSYNC
AC/DC
The Beatles

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Which snack food do you like most?
Pork rinds
Almonds
Potato chips
Apples

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How should coffee be prepared?
Keurig
French press
Pour over
Percolated

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Which U.S. president is more interesting?
Donald J. Trump
Jimmy Carter
Richard Nixon
Bill Clinton

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What do you do when you pass gas?
I announce it to the office.
I apologize.
I sit back and wait for the reaction.
I walk away innocently.

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Do you shower every day?
I shower a few times a day.
I prefer baths.
I shower once a day.
I shower when I can smell myself.

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Which month is your least favorite?
December
August
May
October

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Which sport would you like to try?
Bowling
Surfing
Golf
Lacrosse

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Which strange job could you handle?
Embalmer
Fortune cookie writer
Alligator wrestler
Dog walker

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Which root vegetable is yummiest?
Potatoes
Parsnips
Turnips
Carrots

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What kind of pants are you wearing?
I'm not wearing pants.
That's not a nice question.
I'm wearing jeans.
I'm wearing trousers.

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Are you a light sleeper?
I could sleep through a hurricane.
I can hear bugs chirp three miles away.
It depends how tired I am.
I can't sleep when someone snores.

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Are you flexible?
I have all sorts of moves.
I keep my schedule open.
I can do a split.
I don't like it when plans change.

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How would you describe your workspace?
Disastrous
Tidy
Colorful
Cluttered

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What one item would you order from an Italian restaurant?
Lasagne
Gnocchi
Cannoli
Tiramisu

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You Got: