Answer These Random Questions and We'll Assign You a Military Rank and a Gun

By: Teresa McGlothlin
Estimated Completion Time
3 min
Answer These Random Questions and We'll Assign You a Military Rank and a Gun
Image: Paul Souders/DigitalVision/Getty Images

About This Quiz

If you are as efficient as a military operation, this quiz is the right one for you. Not only are we going to tell you which military rank you deserve, but we will also tell you the gun that matches you the best. We don't like to waste your time, and you're getting a real two-for-one here. 

You don't need to be a weapons expert or a current military member to learn about your rank or best gun. Our random questions are designed for everyone from veterans to future recruits. While we could ask you a lot of pointed questions about your true grit, we think that your reactions to the unexpected will tell us more about the way you handle yourself. You need a weapon that works like you do and a rank that brings out your best, and your answers will help you find them. 

You will need to be as observant as an Air Force pilot and as steady as a Mossberg to get the answers you are hoping to hear. We are going to do our best to catch you off guard and to test your toughness. Will you be a Private with a peashooter, or will you get more bang for your buck? 

Which sport can you dominate?
Bowling
Football
Soccer
Snowboarding
How would your friends describe your sense of humor?
Dirty
Sarcastic
Youthful
Goofy
Are you afraid of the dark?
I do sleep with a nightlight.
The dark does not scare me.
The things in the dark scare me.
I'm more afraid of mice.

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Which natural occurrence is the most frightening?
Earthquake
Tornado
Volcano
Tsunami
Do you often wear your hair in a ponytail?
I'm bald.
I've never worn a ponytail.
I do sometimes.
My hair isn't long enough for that.
Which springtime flower is the prettiest?
Daffodil
Crocus
Hyacinth
Cherry blossom

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Do you like Key Lime pie more than Apple pie?
I don't like either one.
Apple pie is much better.
Key Lime pie is superior.
I prefer cherry pie.
Which name would you give to a new pet goldfish?
Bait
Finn
Goldy
Leonard
What would you rather do on a long weekend?
Road trip
Sleep
Visit family
Have a party

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Which area of your life needs the most focus?
Housing
Career
Relationships
Finances
What kind of shoes are you wearing right now?
Boots
I'm barefoot.
Sneakers
Lace-up shoes
If you woke up in the jungle, what would you do first?
I would look for food.
I would get out my GPS.
I would start a signal fire.
I would look for water.

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Do you read your horoscope every day?
I never read it.
I read my horoscope when I'm bored.
I read it every day.
I read it when someone sends it to me.
Do you brush your teeth for the recommended two minutes?
I have no idea.
I brush for longer than that.
Yes, my toothbrush has a timer.
I really should brush longer.
In your opinion, what kind of dog is the smartest?
German shepherd
Labrador retriever
Border collie
Pit bull

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Which sound is the most soothing to you?
Windchimes
Laughter
Waves
Bacon frying
Do you pray or meditate more often?
I pray a lot more.
I do both sparingly.
I'm a big fan of meditation.
I don't do either.
How would your rate your fishing skills?
I should have a fishing show.
I know how to reel them in.
Fishing is not my strong suit.
I would love some more practice.

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What sort of essential oil would you add to a diffuser?
Say what?
Lavender
Tea tree
Peppermint
Using one word, how would you describe your workspace?
Cluttered
Tidy
Fun
Communal
Do you think we're alone in the universe?
There's something out there.
I think we're all there is.
I won't rule out other lifeforms.
I don't think we'll ever know.

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Which tree do you find the most majestic during fall?
Maple
Oak
Walnut
Birch
What kind of student were you in middle school?
Awkward
Athletic
Popular
Nerdy
Have you ever painted a picture?
I've tried.
I have drawn a map.
That's a negative.
I've painted a big story.

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What would be the best thing about being an octopus?
All those arms would come in handy.
Being that smart would be cool.
I would like to be able to change colors.
They can escape anything.
What sort of store did you last visit?
Sporting goods
Drugstore
Grocery store
Membership club
Which shape do you feel most drawn to?
Circle
Diamond
Square
Hexagon

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How often do you make your bed?
I make it every morning.
Someone else handles that.
I never made it.
I make it when I'm cleaning.
Which singer do you find most attractive?
Adele
RuPaul
Celine Dion
Smokey Robinson
What decade had the biggest influence on you?
'60s
'80s
'90s
'00s

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You Got: