Answer These Kinky Questions and We'll Guess When You'll Die

By: Ian Fortey
Estimated Completion Time
5 min
Answer These Kinky Questions and We'll Guess When You'll Die
Image: BraunS / E+ / Getty Images

About This Quiz

Everyone has a little kink in them whether they want to admit it or not. For some people, they keep it stamped right down and ignore it completely while other people embrace it like an old friend and show it off to anyone willing to look. Most of the rest just control it and let it free when the time and opportunity to do so safely presents itself.  And all three of those approaches are A-OK.  You do you, so to speak.  Having some kink in your life is perfectly healthy as long as no one's doing anything they don't consent to.  It's just a way to cut loose and experiment with what makes you feel good, and no one should have to feel bad about that, even though a lot of people do.

Look at kink like a Magic 8-Ball.  It's a window into who you are and, yes, even your fate.  Shake it up a little bit and you may learn something new about who you are and where you're going in life. So why not shake things up a little bit with us?  Answer some kinky questions and we'll answer for you the most profound question of all: How long do you have left?  Take the quiz and see!

What's the first thing you think when you see a pair of handcuffs?
Are the police around?
Mine are better.
Ooh, I want those.
Those look harsh.

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If you just met someone really attractive, how likely are you to take them home that same night?
I just met them? Not a chance.
Oh, it's pretty likely.
There's a decent chance of that happening.
Hey, anything's possible.

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Have you ever made out with a stranger?
Of course not!
More than once
Well, define "stranger."
I usually have to know people a little bit at least.

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Have you ever gotten down and dirty in public place?
Never!
You better believe it.
It's happened a couple of times.
No, but I would.

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If your partner suggested a little bit of role-playing, how would you respond?
I'd be weirded out by that.
I already have a backstory for my character!
I could get into that.
Maybe, if it's not weird roleplaying.

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Does spanking have a place in the bedroom?
Not at all!
I have just the place for it!
That could work, I think,
Not really my thing

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Do you know how many one-night stands you've had in your lifetime?
I haven't had any.
I lost count!
Oh, I've had a few.
Just a couple

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Has food ever found its way into the bedroom for you?
I eat cookies in bed sometimes if that's what you mean.
I've enjoyed a few treats in my day.
I've had some whipped cream once or twice.
I tried before but didn't care for the mess.

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Rumor has it that if you go looking you can find dirty pictures on the internet. How often do you look at such things?
I don't waste my time doing that.
I always have a window open!
I mean, it happens. A lot.
Every so often when the mood strikes

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Is sex on the beach more than just a fruity drink for you?
I don't even like the drink.
You better believe it.
Why not have the drink while you get nasty on the beach?
Have you ever had sand in your butt? No thanks!

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Would you be comfortable letting your friends and family look through all the photos on your phone right this second?
Sure, I have nothing to hide.
Like right now? Nope!
I would prefer if that didn't happen.
Hmm. I think that would be fine.

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Do you have a collection of toys at home with an adult theme to them?
No, I don't.
An extensive one!
I have a few fun things.
Not a collection, but I have a couple.

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Have you ever had occasion to use something like a blindfold in the bedroom?
Why would I do that?
I own one!
I've rigged up something in the past.
Doesn't really interest me.

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Whether or not you've ever gotten a little freaky in public before, if you were going to do it now, where might you be inspired to try it?
In the woods
I'm sure there's no end of places.
At the beach
At the movies

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How many times would you say you've gotten dirty in the backseat of a car?
I've never done that before.
What else is the backseat for?
Probably a few times
Back in the day, I gave that a try.

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Would you ever get sexy with someone else watching?
That thought terrifies me!
I would and I have.
That's a fantasy of mine.
I think I'd be weirded out.

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What do you think of the idea of partner swapping?
That's basically cheating. No thanks.
That's super hot.
I think that could be fun.
I might be too jealous for that.

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What's the best room in the house for sexy fun times?
The bedroom
Why does it have to be in the house?
Just one room?
Wherever the mood strikes

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Have you ever had a relationship with more than one person at the same time?
Of course not
I have but everyone knew about it.
I've done it before.
I've dated but nothing serious.

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Have you ever signed up for a dating site specifically to meet people for sexy time?
I have not.
More than one!
I tried out Tinder, yeah.
Not specifically for that reason

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Has a partner ever suggested anything to you in the bedroom that turned you right off?
Yes, they have.
Not at all, I'm open to just about anything.
I tried some things to see if I liked them and I didn't, really.
There have been some things I didn't think sounded fun, yeah.

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Who doesn't like an in-depth phone call now and then? Have you ever had phone sex?
No, that's not for me.
All the time!
I dabble now and then.
I tried it but it didn't do much for me.

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Thanks to cellphones, everyone has access to a good quality camera all the time. Have you ever sent a dirty photo to someone?
No, I wouldn't risk it.
I've sent tons!
I've sent a few to a special someone.
Some discreet ones, yes

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Sometimes you just can't control your brain. Have you ever fantasized about a friend you've never had a sexual relationship with?
Not that I can recall
Constantly!
Yeah, there are a few people who crept into fantasies.
Once or twice, sure

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Some people are pretty verbal. Are you into dirty talk at all?
That's not for me.
Just try to shut me up.
I can get into it sometimes.
It makes me feel kind of awkward.

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Is the shower just a place for getting clean or can you use it to get dirty, too?
I prefer to keep it clean.
I have lots of fun in the shower.
Well, you know, sometimes a shower is fun for two.
I've gotten dirty in the shower once or twice.

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Do you find yourself leaning more to the dominant side of things or submissive?
I don't think you should be dominant or submissive.
I kind of like to switch it up.
I can be a little dominant.
I definitely lean toward submissive.

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How many partners have you had so far in life?
That's none of your business.
Oh, wow. Is "a lot" an OK answer?
Not nearly enough!
I've had over 10.

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Do you know what a munch is and have you ever attended?
Munch like eating snacks? I do that.
Yes and yes!
Yes and no.
Not sure what you mean.

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Is it easy for you to discuss your most intimate fantasies with a partner?
Oh, no. Not at all.
I'm an open book!
Mostly, I guess.
Some things are just too embarrassing.

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You Got: