What’s Your “Game of Thrones” Stripper Name?

Ian Fortey

Image: HBO

About This Quiz

Picking out a stripper name for yourself is old school fun at this point. Everyone knows all the standard cliches about what kind of names strippers might have and what combination of car names or alcohol names or precious gem names you can put together to make yourself an instant star on the stage. And that's all well and good for the here and now but what if you aren't here and you aren't now? What if you existed in a world like Westeros on "Game of Thrones?" 

Most of the common names in that world are pretty exotic by our standards so you can just imagine what kind of stripper names they'd be coming up with. You need to have a little sex appeal and a clever little twist, maybe a joke or a bit of wordplay, all based around names that tend to have too many vowels already. It's no easy task picking out a "Game of Thrones" stripper name, not by a longshot. Lucky for you, we took the time to work it out on your behalf! All you need to do is take the quiz and see for yourself which stripper name will help you bring in crowds from Dorne to Braavos.

Welcome to Westeros. Which House are you going to be loyal to?

If you're heading into a fight, who do you want watching your back?

There are a lot of bad people on "Game of Thrones." Who's the worst of them?

Not everything on Thrones was a human. What species would have made for some weird strippers?

Where would you most like to visit in the world of "Game of Thrones?"

There were a lot of beautiful people on "Game of Thrones." Which woman was the most gorgeous in your opinion?

Which of the Starks seems like they'd be the most fun to hang out with for a night at the club?

How come there were no female White Walkers?

Which town do you think is going to be the best place to make a living as a dancer?

Who do you not want to see in the audience while you're dancing?

The music in the world of "Game of Thrones" is a little weak when it comes to stripping. Which of these songs do you think someone there should learn to play?

What style of dancing do you wish you could learn?

Who do you reckon is the most handsome man in the Seven Kingdoms?

Which pet seems like the coolest one to have handy?

Winter was coming for a heck of a long time. What would you have done to prepare?

It's probably worth your time to learn how to sword-fight in Westeros. Who do you want as a teacher?

Sometimes you need a little edge in battle. Who has the next-level skills you'd want on your side?

"Game of Thrones" has its share of larger-than-life characters. Which one would you share a dance with?

Are you willing to do some sketchy things to get ahead in the world?

What seems like the best career path in the Thrones universe?

If you were stuck in Winterfell for the winter, who do you think you'd spend most of your time with?

Most of the world of Thrones died rather unceremoniously. Which of these characters do you wish could have made it to the end?

What's the most essential cliche stripper prop?

What's your cocktail of choice?

What type of club has the right ambiance for your act?

What's the color that would be most prevalent in your outfit before, you know, you stripped it off?

Everyone in the Seven Kingdoms wants to have some gold, right? What are you spending yours on?

What makes a dance sexy?

What are you wearing to bed anyway?

Have you ever actually been to a strip club?

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